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Funny Birthday Wishes And Birthday Jokes

Here we have gathered a collection of birthday jokes and funny birthday wishes that will make your friends chuckle or even laugh out laud. Most of us cannot imagine birthday celebration without smiles, hilarious jokes and joyful laughter. So if you wish to put some humor into your congratulations, this page might be handy for you.

So you say a lighter...

So you say a lighter?.. I guess we will need a flame-thrower to light up all of your candles, buddy!

So tell me, buddy, how old are you now...

So tell me, buddy, how old are you now? I mean those parts that you were born with, terminator?

Let’s celebrate your birthday and stop worrying...

Let’s celebrate your birthday and stop worrying about your age… It’s too late!

Time can be a good healer...

Time can be a good healer, but unfortunately it is a bad beautician, and in your case it is proved… Have a great birthday!

Usually wisdom comes along with age...

funny birthday wishes

Usually wisdom comes along with age. It look like you haven’t reach that age yet, happy birthday!

Stop counting candles on your birthday cake...

Stop counting candles on your birthday cake! You will get one more year older, till you count them all!

I am going to tell you one secret...

birthday jokes

I am going to tell you one secret – as far as I know you today you are the oldest, so let’s celebrate that!

Lately my pal has given me a fossil...

Lately my pal has given me a fossil. You know, it reminds me somebody, who is celebrating his birthday today…

Funny birthday wishes...

It’s freezing today and it is so good that your birthday cake with all the candles brings much more warmth than the fireplace!

In the cupboard? On the coffee table? Near the bed...

In the cupboard? On the coffee table? Near the bed? At 50 it is a great victory to remember where you left your keys, happy birthday!

Lately it turned out that birthdays are good for your health...

Lately it turned out that birthdays are good for your health. Research has showed that those people who have most of them, live the longest.

Happy birthday to my old friend...

Happy birthday to my old friend. I hope that this year you are going to get a brand new disease. Take care!

Birthday jokes...

On your day as a birthday present I want to give you joy, love, friendship, wisdom and lots of other things that cost nothing!

When you were born, you were so surprised that...

When you were born, you were so surprised that didn’t talk for more than a year.

A person like you is too special for...

A person like you is too special for just a birthday card. So keep the envelope too!

The 4 signs of old age are...

The 4 signs of old age are:
1. Loss of memory
2. …and I can’t remember the others…

On birthdays kids wish to be older...

On birthdays kids wish to be older, adults – to be younger.
On your birthday I wish you to be as lucky as a gnat in a nudist colony.

I will stand and hold my breath until you promise to...

I will stand and hold my breath until you promise to have a fantastic Happy Birthday. Please, please promise quickly!

It‘s no matter how old you are...

It‘s no matter how old you are – you don’t look it!

It’s good to know that someone likes you...

It’s good to know that someone likes you, thinks about you and needs you. But it feels even better when you know that someone remembers your birthday! Yes, it’s me!!!

A simple task for You...

A simple task for You! Put your right hand on your left shoulder and the left hand on the right. Now shout joyously – you just received a big birthday hug from me!

Today is the first day of...

Today is the first day of your life as an old person…

Today is a perfect day to thank you...

Today is a perfect day to thank you for NOT using a con**m, Daddy.

Finally you are 21, and now you can legally...

Finally you are 21, and now you can legally do everything you have been doing for years!

Birthdays are good for your health...

Birthdays are good for your health – the more birthdays you celebrate, the longer you live.

Congratulations on your Birthday! If someone...

Congratulations on your Birthday! If someone says that you’re getting old, don’t listen to him and throw your artificial teeth set or hit with your walking stick!

You’re 21 now, so you can drink...

You’re 21 now, so you can drink.

Just think, in 14 years you can become president of the US.

But only because you can do something doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to try.

I wish you a thunderous Happy Birthday!

Today you reached the age of responsibility...

Today you reached the age of responsibility. Give it a few months and you will be wondering why you were in such a hurry to get here. Happy Birthday!

It’s your special day. Look ahead, think back, sing out...

It’s your special day. Look ahead, think back, sing out, dance around, get down, live it up and have a memorable Bday!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly...

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and … lie about your age. Happy Birthday to you! I wish you live for a thousand years!

I don’t tell you this every day, but be thankful that...

I don’t tell you this every day, but be thankful that your birthday comes just once a year. Think how old you would be if it came every month! Have a rocking day!

The secret of living a long life is simple – just continue breathing...

The secret of living a long life is simple – just continue breathing. I wish you a healthy and long life, happy birthday to you!

On your special day I thought of giving you the cutest...

On your special day I thought of giving you the cutest gift ever. But how can I give you yourself???

You’re my best friend. Happy Birthday to you...

You’re my best friend. Happy Birthday to you! Just one question – you’re paying the bill, aren’t you?

Happy Birthday! It’s so good to be handsome and...

Happy Birthday! It’s so good to be handsome and smart. Can you remember???

You’re not getting older. You’re just...

You’re not getting older. You’re just a little closer to dying! Happy Bday!

It doesn’t matter how old you get...

It doesn’t matter how old you get, I don’t think you will grow up, mate. Happy birthday!

Happy B-day! The letter “B” means only ‘Birthday’...

Happy B-day!
The letter “B” means only ‘Birthday’…
But you can have a few ‘B’eers to celebrate!

Who cares about your birthday? I mean, it’s not...

Who cares about your birthday? I mean, it’s not like a holiday or something…

Nothing could make me happier than sending this...

Nothing could make me happier than sending this birthday message! …Except, maybe, sending it from the beach in Florida!

Oops, you’re old! It’s not funny, but you’re...

Oops, you’re old! It’s not funny, but you’re getting funnier looking!

Have fun blowing out all the candles on your cake...

Have fun blowing out all the candles on your cake while you can still count them.

On your special day I wish that mosquitos would...

On your special day I wish that mosquitos would suck your fat instead of blood!

Happy Bday! How old you are...

Happy Bday! How old you are, I won’t ask…

There is a nice, handsome, wise and successful man...

There is a nice, handsome, wise and successful man who was born today. Unfortunately, it wasn’t you. Who knows, maybe it will be you the next year. Happy birthday, my friend!

Unexpected showers? Breaking clouds?...

Unexpected showers? Breaking clouds? Lightning from nowhere? Don’t be afraid, this is God’s way of wishing you a thunderous Happy Birthday!

Best wishes to my best friend...

Best wishes to my best friend! On your special day I wish you to die in bed at 90 years… strangled by your jealous husband (wife).

Congratulations on your special day...

Congratulations on your special day, buddy, but please be careful and don’t burn your house with so many candles on your cake.

Enjoy your birthday! May all your wishes come true...

Enjoy your birthday! May all your wishes come true and hopefully your wife doesn’t find out about them!

On your big day I wish that your failures...

On your big day I wish that your failures be as few as the teeth of your grandfather!

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